But Still I Stand Under The Trees

As I sit by the lake listening to to rooster's call to morning echoing in the distance, I contemplate the richness of Tuesday's dance. It could not have been a more perfect poem or line that chose me this week. I had just put out my hummingbird feeder, at the beckoning of the hummingbird who visited me last week. I have not seen her yet this weekend. I hope that she has not given up on me! The words of Mary Oliver resonated on two levels for me. At first, I thought of all the fulfilling work I accomplished last weekend, under Mother Nature's awning of trees. I sanded and painted the old bench overlooking the lake a new and vibrant deep green, to provide a place for me to BE under her arms. The work for now is done, until I move on to the next project, but as I still stand under the trees, can I stand STILL? Therein lies the lesson, the practice that I embark upon. How do I learn to still stand under the trees and remain still with the silence, with the non-doing? How easy the doing is for me, the finding sense of purpose in the projects, the accomplishments, that I can stand back and admire and feel, yes, I did this. Defining myself by all that I have DONE rather than all that I can BE, by standing still under the trees in the moment. To be able to touch the silence, that quiet place that I know lies deep within me, waiting to be unleashed. Then the being can begin. The trees are not going anywhere. They are still, they are being, they exist and have their purpose and importance by remaining rooted, by bending and swaying with the wind, reflecting their grandness in the lake as the breeze ripples  and distorts their shape, yet they remain unchanged. They surrender, and it cannot be any other way. I look out and up at their arms, at the shade their canopy creates. I feel protected and held. A seagull flies by, swooping and skimming the glass-like surface of the lake, looking for breakfast. The crows and other birds sing and echo in the morning, as the fog burns off. There is more clarity now as the sun awakens and makes it's presence known, burning through the morning clouds. Time for me to begin the day. How will I be today? Will I be able to learn to be? Baby steps once again, back at the beginning to start anew. To still stand under the trees and stand still under the trees. I welcome the sun as it yawns and does it's job of burning through the blanket of morning fog that hovers over the lake. I want to bask in it today. Just that and no more. We will see. Yes, permission for baby steps and room for a bit of doing, but creating more room today to allow the being to begin......

The Hummingbird

~~ Mary Oliver~~

"It’s morning, and again I am that lucky person who is in it.

And again it is spring,
and there are the apple trees,
and the hummingbird in its branches.
On the green wheel of his wings
he hurries from blossom to blossom,
which is his work, that he might live.

He is a gatherer of the fine honey of promise,
and truly I go in envy
of the ruby fire at his throat,
and his accurate, quick tongue,
and his single-mindedness.

Meanwhile the knives of ambition are stirring
down there in the darkness behind my eyes,
and I should go inside now to my desk and my pages.
But still I stand under the trees, happy and desolate,
wanting for myself such a satisfying coat
and brilliant work."

Don't Go Back to Sleep

As I sit on the deck sipping my coffee, fleeced and hooded, I watch the morning mist hover over the lake, just as the steam rises from my cup. The crows sing loudly and it echos through the quiet. A hummingbird buzzes in my ear reminding me to fill and hang the new feeder I bought. I am reminded of one of Rumi's poems that I am so fond of. I approach the day.............

 Don’t go back to sleep  ~ Rumi~

"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don’t go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don’t go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill

where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.

Don’t go back to sleep."

Last Time I Danced Mary Oliver I Was Touched Once Again

A River Far Away and Long Ago

The river

Of my childhood,

That tumbled

Down a passage of rocks

And cut-work ferns,

Came here and there

To the swirl

And slowdown

Of a pool

And I say myself-

Oh, clearly-

As I knelt at one-

Then I saw myself

As if carried away,

As the river moved on.

Where have I gone?

Since then

I have looked and looked

For myself,

Not sure

Who I am, or where,

Or, more importantly, why.

It’s okay-

I have had a wonderful life.

Still, I ponder

Where that other is-

Where I landed,

What I thought, what I did,

What small or even maybe meaningful deeds

I might have accomplished

Somewhere

Among strangers,

Coming to them

As only a river can-

Touching every life it meets-

 That endlessly kind, that enduring.

Finding Solitude

I can hardly see the keyboard to type as the sun is setting over the lake. The lake is reflecting the orange and pink of the western sky. It is peaceful except for the occasional dog bark that echos across the lake and the water skier trying to squeeze in one more run before sunset. My camera is at my side, Amos Lee playing in the background as the wakes and the wind create a gentle splash on the dock. There are still a few boats taking their "evening constitutional" around the lake to see what is going on. Ah..... now the silence sets in as the sky darkens. The pine trees that the Evergreen State are known for, create an ominous silhouette in the night sky and are reflected in the rippling lake. Even the rippling is slowing and settling in for the night. I hear a few girls giggle echoing across the lake as well. The dark descends rapidly and the bats begin their evening swoop to gather their evening snack of insects. I am spent after a day of scrubbing, furniture refinishing and various chores that called to me. My body aches. I finally settled in with a glass of wine, some leftover barbecued meat and some simple tomato salad I put together, and finally attempted to STOP.  To digest the day and savor the feeling of hard work and down time. The sun sets and rests. The water on the lake turns to glass and it rests. The crows that create the morning symphony rest now. It is now time for me to listen. To listen to nature, as it quiets and tucks in for the evening. I have a big day of projects on deck for tomorrow, if I can only settle in too, and sleep. The night is so quiet that every little evening sound and bump in the night is magnified. I am so used to the sounds of the city. The dumpster crashing, the rattling bottles in the shopping carts. Now it is time to become friends with the evening sounds of the lake. Is it a raccoon on the roof, a deer out for a snack in the garden, a hummingbird wondering if I have put out her new feeder yet? The house settling? It knows how to settle. I will try to listen to the lake, the house, the critters and the world settling in. Can I listen and learn as well? I am alone with my thoughts, the water, the breeze, the insects, the bats, the croaking toads, the swaying trees the quieting lake. How do I learn to settle in too as the day comes to an end and the darkness descends? Yet another lesson to learn from nature. The sun will rise in the morning and there will be a crispness in the air as I sip my coffee on the porch. The day begins, but the day must first be put to rest to gain strength to meet the new day. I have big plans that I would love to let unfold, but I must first rest. Or can I actually allow myself to rest tomorrow, to allow? The mosquitos are beckoning me inside. The sky is almost completely dark. The day is coming to an end and so must I put the doing and the thinking to rest. I long for the quiet rest that Mother Nature finds no difficulty reaching. It is mine for the taking. I just have to reach out as naturally as Mother Nature does. It is effortless and the only way she can thrive. All I have to do is watch, listen and allow. It is all I have to do. Why does the non-doing seem more difficult for me than the doing? Yet another lesson to learn, practice, the beginners mind has me back at the start once again. I long to learn the lesson, this time............maybe tonight..........maybe tomorrow............

Me and My Best Friend in Santa Fe!

I am still settling back into home after an amazing four day trip to Santa Fe with my sweet daughter Jenni!

We had the time of our lives. When we first arrived in Albuquerque, Jenni pulled off the road to chase a tumbleweed for me. We laughed when after she finally tackled it and gave it a seat in our car, only to look up and see miles of fences filled with tumbleweed that had been trapped by the wind! We filled our days looking at art on Canyon Road and out and about Santa Fe, hiking up tall ladders into cave dwellings at Bandolier Park (and oh yeah my foot held up!), a brief and quite enlightening trip followed by stimulating conversation about The Sanctuario de Chimayo, experiencing fine, fine dining, margaritas (of course) and wine, probably too much guac and chips, great conversation and laughs, browsing and exploring local jewelry, crafts and woven rugs, talking to the artists, soaking our tired feet in the out door hot tub and making memories that I will cherish forever! She is one amazing woman and every moment with her is a fun ride! 

Starting to think of MOM again already!?

What's new in 2011 for MOM?

Thanks to the Oregon Convention Center's generosity in providing us with additional space, 

we'll be able to bring the patients INSIDE to wait for treatment! 

The clinic will still be first come, first served, but at 4am on Monday and Tuesday mornings, we’ll open the doors to the first 1,000 in line. 

We will get them registered and have oral and other health education stations set up in the waiting area.

This also means that some of the departments will open earlier than they did last year as we’d like to have people in the dental chairs and dentists working at 6 am!

Keep an eye on the OrMOM website for more information on the 2011 clinic. 

All are welcome to volunteer doing anything from registration, escorting, translating and as runners.

Remnants bags by Jo now for sale!

Since a lot of business have gone out around town and left vacant spaces, the phenomenon of "pop-up" shop has been happening. One such shop is in the old historic Millennium Music space on the corner or NW 23 & Johnson. It has been taken over on a temporary basis by Friends of Multnomah County Library and a group of artists and craftspeople who are displaying, and selling their work with part of the proceeds going to our Multnomah County Library. I approached them and we found the perfect rack to display and sell my hand made purses called Remnants, since that is what they are made from! I am excited to "get them out there". I always enjoy sewing them but now they are looking for new homes. I need the space and the library needs new books! A perfect match wouldn't you say? Swing by and check out the pop-up store when you are out and about the neighborhood.

Luke Jensen's Lego-cy Carnival!!

After having the honor or painting around Luke Jensen's words on Sunday, it seemed like fate that I should come home to an email calling me to volunteer to help out with the first annual Lego fund-raising event this Friday, May 20th, for Luke, one of the kids served through CHAP who passed away from cancer last year at age 9 (a lot of the messages in the new space were for Luke!)  The event is in Vancouver, WA. It's a Lego Carnival! There will be approximately 500 people attending this event. I will be at the CHAP table helping the kids with hands-on crafts.  

The practice of donating boxed Lego sets in Luke Jensen’s name will continue.

Luke, who had leukemia, died in May 2010 at age 9. Attendees at his memorial service brought boxed Lego sets to be donated to sick children.

“Luke’s Lego-cy Carnival” will be 5 to 9 p.m. May 20 at King’s Way Christian Schools, 3300 N.E. 78th St. in Hazel Dell.

The suggested admission is one Lego set per family, said Gretchen Kipp, a teacher at King’s Way.

Luke attended King’s Way, where his father, Steve, serves as a principal.

In March, Clark County commissioners approved naming a sports field complex next to the schools in memory of Luke. Construction has begun on the Luke Jensen Sports Park; fields are expected to be game-ready by spring 2012.

The donated Lego sets will be given to the Children’s Cancer Association and Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland.

Kipp said profits will be divided among Doernbecher’s, CCA, Children’s Healing Art Project and Lens of Hope, which offers free photography services to families with a member who has cancer.

Kipp said the event will celebrate Luke’s positive outlook.

A flier for the carnival quotes Luke: “I don’t have time to worry about the things that could happen. I am too busy thinking of all the happy things that have happened.”

Grace through CHAP

Sunday morning I donned my paint covered overalls and headed over to the soon to be new location of CHAP for a "paint party", to get the space ready for the grand opening next month. I was prepared to be handed a roller and can of white paint to make the space fresh and new. I was not prepared for the next 2 1/2 hours. I introduced myself and said I was there to help and was greeted by a young woman who proceeded to hand me a tray of chartreuse paint and a brush. I was instructed to pick a wall and paint around and behind the graffiti. I began to paint around the letters not reading the words at the beginning. I eavesdropped as two teens painted and discussed what they would be wearing to prom. Someone's docked i-pod filled the room with music. When I stepped back to refill my paint tray, I saw the walls in the large warehouse for the first time. It took my breath away. I asked one of the other painters who wrote these words on the walls and was told that there had been a "party" the night before for parents who had lost their children to cancer, to have their words and the words of their passed children, live on through the walls of the new CHAP space. I was overcome with emotion as I read these words that I had the honor of painting around, as if I was adding an exclamation point to these words of wisdom that brought me to a place of changed perspective. The positive attitude that exuded through these words was beyond words. In the background I began to hear Paul Simon on the i-pod singing Graceland. I began to hear the words as a soundtrack to the painting, thinking about Grace, to do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one's presence, a divine blessing. My body and my hand had begun to tire, but mostly my spirit and heart were overflowing. I had to head home. I took one last look at the room, the painters, the words. I took them all in and floated home filled with a combination of sadness and richness, but mostly deep gratefulness. 

Reliving the Wedding Memories!!

It has been well over a year, and we finally have a wonderful family portrait on canvas, from the fabulous Adam & Tiff wedding to share with you all! We are delighted with the work that Canvas on Demand did with the picture. It feels great to relive all the festivities and joy once again!

The Sun

The Sun

Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful

than the way the sun,
every evening,
relaxed and easy,
floats toward the horizon

and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea,
and is gone–
and how it slides again

out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower

streaming upward on its heavenly
oils,
say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance–
and have you ever felt for anything
such wild love–
do you think there is anywhere, in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure

that fills you,
as the sun
reaches out,
as it warms you

as you stand there,
empty-handed–
or have you too
turned from this world–

or have you too
gone crazy
for power,
for things?

~Mary Oliver~

 Last night was the last evening that we would be "dancing" to Mary Oliver's  The Sun. It was the third time I had the privilege of moving to this amazing poem. The visual way that Mary Oliver combines her words particularly speaks to me. I can grab onto and see each of her carefully chosen and placed words, and then begin to sculpt them with my hands, my body and my mind. It is so easy to get lost in her words and in doing so find yourself. Each time I show up to dance since my foot injury, the dance reinvents itself. Not by any means the way I would dance if this was a choice, but for now it has to be the only dance I can dance. 

The phrase that blindly chose me last night was "the sun, every evening". As always we each went around in the circle speaking our phrase, and then on the second go round spoke of how those particular words spoke to us at that moment in time. For me, it made me see how much I cherish that special sacred window of time each evening, when my beloved comes home and we share wine and conversation and dinner. It is usually the first time I am seeing him that day, so for me it is a beginning, like a new day, a sunrise. My dance felt rich and full, as I embraced and danced those words. I returned home feeling filled up only to be met with many emotions that I had to process as we continue on this journey of healing together. 

Getting the new "CHAP House" Ready to Roll!

Greetings Fabulous CHAP Volunteers!!!! You're invited to join us at an   Open House Painting Party   next Sunday, May 15th!!! Come and help us paint the new and improved CHAP Art Factory! Anytime between   10 am - 5 pm @ the future home of CHAP 1703 NW 16th Avenue, Portland, OR 97209   Questions?  503.243.5294 RSVP to info@chap.name We hope to see you there!!!!  Hasta la Pasta, Mr. Bossy and everyone at CHAP                             info@chap.name                                                503.243.5294                                                                                   Children's Healing Art Project (CHAP) www.chap.name

2011 Street Party Gala: Mixed Media on Pavement

2011 Gala: Mixed Media on Pavement

You are invited to join us for a lively celebration of PNCA + MoCC at an elegant, tented dinner on the PNCA campus at 1241 NW Johnson St.
Animation by Matthew Seely ’13

2011 Street Party Gala from PNCA on Vimeo.

The 9th annual gala will feature:

• A delicious, seasonal meal by Art of Catering;

• Student talent: A private viewing of the 2011 Senior Thesis Exhibition

• Creative Direction by XPLANE and a unique, reimagined format;

• A dynamic paddle raise led by auctioneer Johnna Wells, Benefit Auctions 360;

• Fantastic entertainment provided by BodyVox;

• Free valet parking;

• An After Party where you can dance all night to 80s Video Dance Attack with VJ Kittyrox;

AFTER PARTY ONLY TICKETS

Individual tickets: $250
Table of ten: $2500

For sponsorship information, or to purchase tables and tickets please call:

503.821.8882
rsvp@pnca.edu

Chair Affair + 2011 Final Tally Surpasses Expectations!!

CHAIR AFFAIR+

THANK YOU to all of the talented contributing artists, generous event sponsors, tireless volunteers, and supportive donors and guests who gathered last week for two festive nights of CHAIR AFFAIR+ to raise $130,000 for the Warehouse.

Kudos to the volunteer Chair, Miriam Hecht, and her talented team of committee members and event volunteers who spent countless hours planning a successful and memorable party. The amount raised through this effort means that another 900 families will benefit from Warehouse services in the months ahead. Thank you everyone for a job well done!

Updates on What's Happening at CHAP in May

May Happenings at CHAP First everBossierthancancerfundraising extravaganza.                            4-7pm Saturday  May 14th @ CHAP3.0.......1703 NW 16th.....or the soon-to-be...1601 NW Savier 503.243.5294 Potluck Bossier than cancer T's Bossier than cancer wristbands Bossier than cancer hair pruning....head shaving, bang trimming,  and a variety of possibilities between these two hair options........ Don't miss the world premier of the Dawnn of the Reverse Mullet. Wear CHAP clothing as there will be lotza of house paint painting going on. Be the nearly-first people to paint our nearly-new space.   As Bossy  Dawnn says this is a fundraiser to raise fund$ BYOB..................Bring your own Bossy BYOFD+F.....Bring your own food, drinks + friends BYOooK...............Bring your own, or others, kids B$...........................Bring cash BYOSHA....Bring your own SUPER healing attitudes Bring it BOSSY! Run Like A Mother THANK YOU to everyone, organizers (Anne Clemens!), runners, and volunteers who made this first annual event a success.   It was a sellout crowd and CHAP had a blast.  A special congratulations to Maria, a former CHAPkid that came in 3rd in her age division. 7 Murals 7 Days Update Thank you New Seasons for hosting our murals and for all of your  enthusiasm for having them at your stores.  Thanks also to partners Clear Channel , Miller Paint, RACC,  Work for Art, Oregon Art Commission, MCCC and  the CHAP Art Clubers who painted the murals.

Run Like a Mother!

Well, I certainly can't run like a mother on Mother's Day but I certainly can work the race to benefit CHAP this year. Even if I wasn't still healing from my broken toe, running has never been my thing. The mission of Run Like a Mother® is to fuel a woman’s journey toward health and wellness, as well as empower with education and training programs and inspire communities, events and races. Run Like a Mother® Isn’t Just a Race, It’s A Way of Life. This year the proceeds from the race will go to The Children's Healing Art Project, an organization that I just began working with. I am looking forward to cheering on the runners as I work the sidelines knowing that I will also be cheering for the kids, healthy or healing, through CHAP! Let the race begin!